Is this Material ??????

 

Is this material?

Hi, cheers for reading this if you are.

I have written this thing, and I have no idea what it is, too long and not funny enough to be a joke too short to be a scene from a play.

 So is it worth performing in any capacity, and where/how?

“At the bus stop, in town, in the drizzle, and

I was watching this window cleaner, whistling away, cleaning shop windows, in the rain.

His actions seemed to sum something up-

I felt I had to reach out and engage with something, someone, and there he was – He noticed me, noticing him, and I spoke…

‘It’s a bit like life,’ I blurted out.

He paused in his work,

‘You know, the futile pursuit of an unachievable goal,

One that you don’t even know why you’re even doing it, and don’t even want to know.-

You’re just pointlessly pushing things around, but there’s no apparent alternative and the difference between all your exertions and nothing, seem unnoticeable.

It’s all just graftin’ for grafts sake.

And you end up doing it for so long that futility is the only thing that keeps you sane, because it prevents you questioning it all, because if you question it then you are forced to find a reason, but there is no reason.
There’s only repetition which simultaneously cages you in, and robs you of identity.

You are what you do, what you do is meaningless, you are meaningless. And nothing and no one you touch can have any meaning.’

(I would act out his whistling and other facial bits)

-His whistling abruptly faded out, his jaw slackened, and his mouth opened to speak…

“That’s right mate the old window cleaning A? It’s a mugs game, still mustn’t grumble!”

(Whistle, whistle.)

So, I don’t know’


Also...

Also I’ve written this bit which is a list of analogies for nothing.  (Although originally written for my award* winning apprentice bit.)

It’s a bit like…

Asking for a refund at the photo developer/printers because you don’t like your photos because you are in them and you have a bit of an ugly face, which they’ve all too accurately recorded.

 It’s a bit like … Inviting all your friends round for a meal and making them buy and cook all the food themselves, which you then say is crap.

Like… Buying jeans with the pre-ripped hole in them, then taking them back for a refund.

…Going to the clinic for an abortion, when your child is in there mid 30’s

…Going on the TV show “who do you think you are” (about family trees) and instead of doing you family tree you just talk about yourself then try and impregnate as many people as possible in order to produce new heirs.

…Going to a petting zoo whilst eating kebabs and wool then poring barbeque sauce over the animals and kids, rubbing your tummy, and looking around at the shocked faces going, What! What?

It’s like crucifying the pope with a nail gun, and stale baguettes and the banisters of the Vatican and Jimmy Nail from TV’s spender.  

*The Award of um… runner up in best reality TV show based joke as told by me awarded by me.